Love Kills
by Nadja Lee
Summary: Rogue thinks about loss, choices and Logan.


Love Kills                                                       By Nadja Lee          03/10/01

English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.

Disclaimer: "X-men" and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.

Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.

Timeline: Set in the movie universe. After the movie.

Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.

Romance: Logan/Rogue.

Summary: Rogue thinks about loss, choices and Logan.

Archiving: Want, ASK, take,  have.

Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@usa.net 

Rating: PG-13

Sequel/series: Nope

Warning: Character death!

Dedicated to Karen for being so wonderful *big hug*. Thanks, sugah! 

Part 1:

Why did he do it? Why? I don't understand. What drove him to do what he did? Why? All I want to know is why? 

I've lost people I love before but I never expected to lose him; he was my support, my rock and my comfort. My one safe harbour. I never doubted he'd outlive me by 100ths of years; maybe even forever. Then this happened and I'm left to wonder; why? 

All we've been through, all the tears and joys we have shared…I still can't believe we'll never share anything ever again. I still can't believe that from now on he'll live only in my memories. I wish I still had his voice in my head but I've lost that too; it fades with time…but my heart still bleeds as badly as the day it happened. 

We had every obstacle in our way yet we made it work; two great years we had together, two years to love him and be loved back…the memories of those two years are now all I have left to cling to in the night. God, if only I knew why. If only I could understand why…

As a young girl I always thought of love as something great, pure and wonderful and that it was but I never imagined the pain, the absolute agony I feel in my heart and soul today…all because of love. 

Tears run down my face and no matter what I do I can't stop them; they keep falling like a waterfall of misery. I feel so broken up inside that I can barely walk. I can barely stand…I don't eat and I don't sleep…how can I do any of those things when my reason for living is gone?

It begins to rain and I find it appropriate for the Heavens to match the tears on my cheeks. I feel so utterly cold and lost and just wish for it all to be a bad dream…to wake up in his arms, safe in his embrace…but it isn't a nightmare; this is cold, hard reality.

All this pain, so much pain…I never thought love could bring so much pain…It feels like I'm being cut in two…everywhere I turn I imagine I see him, every night I feel his arms around me…but when I wake up he's gone and I'm left feeling cold and empty…so cold, always so cold. I fear I shall never be warm again. 

I miss him everyday. Just the imagined reflection of him in the mirror, someone's footsteps in the halls…and I fall apart. I shall love him forever; I will love him from my grave. Not even this will stop my love; it will last forever even when we will not. 

I'm dying, surely I most be dying. This agony tears me up inside and breaks me in two; surely no one can hurt as badly as I do and survive. Surely I must be dying…I'm falling to pieces, I'm falling apart…I'm dying.

I kneel down beside the gravestone and caress the inscription with gloved fingers. I'll do anything to make him live again but there is nothing I can do and I hate this helplessness. I force a smile for him and softly kiss the gravestone as I lay the white rose on his grave and force myself to walk away…

Walk away…

This time just walk away…

Don't look back…

I look back and I read the inscription I gave him:

_Here lies_

_My beloved husband_

_Logan_

_Not even death can tear us apart_

_My heart will always be yours_

Rest In Peace 

It is simple and true, just like he would have wanted it. But it doesn't explain why he did it. It doesn't tell me why he did it….

Why did he steal that kiss from me? 

Why?  

He must have known…

Love wounds…

My heart is bleeding and I fear it'll never stop

Love scars…

The scars on my soul will never heal.

Love hurts

Never before have I felt such pain.

Love kills

The End


End file.
